The voice over the intercom is real. There are human beings to whom these voices are attached, and only in London does this humane side of public announcements emerge.

I got yelled at on the bus home last night.

We were all sitting down in the back of the bus, thawing on the way home from the Ice Bar. The bus was crowded, so many people were standing in the aisle. As all buses and other forms of vehicular transportation in London generally act, this particular bus managed to overtake private automobiles, swerve, and almost run over innocent, unknowing tourists.

So the driver decided to get catty.

"All of you who are standing in the aisles right now, please find a seat. You know it's dangerous and if you want to fall, then suit yourself." And he continued his sarcastic rant for about 10 minutes, failing to acknowledge that the danger was essentially caused by his neglecting to signal before changing lanes and to stop for children crossing the street. I began to laugh, completely bewildered by this seemingly individualized PA announcement.

"And to the girl in purple in the back--this is not funny."