Looks can be very deceiving. Unfortunately, whatever impressions people get about me from the frazzled state of my bangs truly speak volumes about my personality, my behavior, and my currently frazzled state of mind.
Two weeks ago, I thought I should get a haircut to look presentable for all the meetings and interviews and appointments that I have to have to secure a socially acceptable future (apparently Neverland does not exist). One week ago, I burned my bangs, which are now so short and frayed that it will be impossible to get a haircut without scarring my forehead. I was taking notes by candlelight, for the soothing smell and ambience, on the Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women, and got a text message from Patrick. It was a picture of a cat with the text, "hey there frenchie!" I wanted to reply with an equally nonsensical message, and tried to take a creepy picture of myself behind the candle, hoping that my face would be aglow.
I heard a crackling sound, as though something were burning. I leaned in closer. I couldn't see anything but heard the crackling sound grow louder. I shrugged, took the picture (twice, because the first one didn't come out well), and sent it to him, with the message, "can't wait to punch you in the face! miss youuu." I continued to do my homework. 15 minutes later I went to the bathroom.
I saw mysterious brown bits in my hair when I looked in the mirror. They looked like dead grass. I pulled one out, and saw that I had in my hand what looked like clumps of limp hair. I yelled out in shock and disgust. And suddenly, that putrid smell of burning consumed my nose, my lungs, my flesh, and I realized that that crackling sound had been my bangs on fire.
I look like a cross between Albert Einstein and Kelly Osbourne. And I have not gained the fame to pull off a look of electrocution. I am the ordinary New Yorker, student, girl, all first impressions gone to ashes.
If I don't find a job, I won't be able to blame it on the economic recession. I will, however, blame Pier 1 Imports' line of buttercream vanilla fragrance.
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