New York, you make my heart feel full.

I fell in love with New York all over again this weekend. As more of my friends and loves grow up, grow fast, and grow out of this beautiful island, I find myself fervently defending the one place that has always been good to me, that still nurtures and teaches me, that still cherishes me, as if it's still the first three months of our relationship, not the first seven years.

This weekend was the first in almost two months that Vin and I could explore our city--without phones, impending deadlines, or any thoughts at all, actually. My mind was finally blank, and I wanted to go to Brooklyn.

I had not been to DUMBO in years. In college, Manu and I used to eat spoonfuls of Nutella on the rocks looking out over the East River, giggling about all of the nothingness. Now, Vin and I took the A to High Street, and I immediately felt transported to seven years ago. I directed him down towards the river, and walked by construction enclosed by artistic pictures with captions that made no sense. It was lovely.

This caption was for an unrelated picture. We decided to justify it.

While blank and blissful, we were also desperately hungry. We decided to turn left, to Gran Electria, so that I could finally cross it off my bucket list. We walked past the bar in the front and through the small dining area in the back, amid the quirky black and white wallpaper, and into a beautiful garden, outlined by a string of lights. Couples were sitting on the same sides of tables, hand in hand, and waiters of all genders were wearing incredibly short shorts. The brown paper menus explained the various local farms and vineyards from where the organic ingredients were hauled. I smiled. We were in Brooklyn.

I am not proud of taking pictures at lunch. But, I did.

The drinks were made with fresh, whole, colorful ingredients--entire jalapeños, cold cucumbers, bright red pepper--creating exciting, earthy flavors that turned our drinks into true bebidas.

We ordered the setas quesadillas with quesillo cheese and oyster mushrooms (another thing I've fallen for over the last year and a half), and I got the rajas tacos.

Everything was clean, and delicious.

After lunch, we headed back down towards the river. We walked by the long Grimaldi's line, snickering at the visor toting tourists who waited on this excessive queue, secretly wishing we had the courage to do the same. I then wanted to ride the merry go round by the river with the other kids, but the line was just as long as the one for pizza,  and we instead walked to the water and watched the boats and the dozens of wedding parties posing for East River photo shoots.

Vin wanted dessert. We ventured towards the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory, where we met yet another line. "What is everyone doing on line?" Vin shrieked in desperation (he has a sweet tooth). Though the afternoon had been filled lots of lines and lots of waiting, I felt actually grateful for a prolonged quietude. It was our last summer weekend together, and I had become incredibly sad.

But Vin was thinking about cookies. "Let's Yelp this." And then he listed the various places we could walk to for dessert. We got one thick, creamy hot chocolate from Jacques Torres to share, and then walked through Almondine and One Girl Cookies to make sure that we didn't want (or couldn't stomach) anything else. We sat on a bench, staring at more wedding parties (specifically, at brides in bedazzled, hot pink wedding dresses) taking pictures on the cobbled streets in front of Galapagos, and noticed a dark green, fully functioning trolley, with tracks that literally led to nowhere. We didn't question it. We smiled. It was Brooklyn.

After dessert, we wanted appetizers. We saw a chalkboard sign for $1 oysters at the cafe next door, Atrium, and swiftly welcomed ourselves. We ordered more bebidas, potions comprising ingredients we had never before heard of (what the hell is velvet falernum?). We also ordered a side of roasted kale (Brooklyn delicacy) and potato bread that was so hot that it steamed (and burned tongues) when we sliced it open.

We walked back towards the East River Promenade, where Vin got excited by a poster advertising a pool. He had actually been wearing neon pink swim shorts all day, instead of pants, since our weekend plans initially involved the beach. He looked at his pink shorts and then to me, in anguish. "I could have totally gone swimming today. Let's go see this pool."

And so, we walked through the entire promenade, by the construction of the new apartment complex, the roller rink, kids racing on scooters, and the many bright wildflowers and posies and petunias that littered the edges of the walkway, flush against the horizon. Vin walked on towards the pool, and I sat down on the ledge, staring into the glowing sky.

Summer was coming to a close. We could not find the pool, and the sun was soon setting.

We had to get back to Manhattan. Of course, the freest way to do so was walking the Brooklyn Bridge, and so, like I first did when I was 18, we strolled across the bridge, bumping into tourists posing for selfies and cyclists trying to kill everyone. We left our day in Brooklyn behind us.

On the other side, we ventured to Beekman Beer Garden, through an outdoor movie in a brick alley, only to find the garden had closed, permanently. Nervous about ending the night, we decided to watch The Most Wanted Man, feeling as though a celebration of one of our greatest artists was the only other activity befitting of such an evening. We waited for the movie at the nearby Pierre Loti, where we tried their famous haydari with warm pita (and loved it). And then we went to the theater, where a satisfied Vin fell asleep with his mouth open, and I discovered old gummy bears in my purse (win-win!). The film was tragic.

And our summer officially ended.

In his latest memoir, Joseph Anton, Salman Rushdie explains that the questions of life he knows how to answer are only those of love: "Who do you love? What can you leave behind, and what do you need to hold on to? Where does your heart feel full?"

For me, the answer is, and always has been, and always will be, New York City.

Though, someone who crosses the Brooklyn Bridge with me, hand in hand, into the sunset, in utter silence, is a close second.

good bye, summer.

May 4, that time the entire borough of Brooklyn goes missing

On Saturday, May 4th, Patrick and I accidentally embarked on a walking tour of the city. Eight hours after we had begun the journey downtown, we each found ourselves face down in our pillows, shoes on, lights on, eyes closed.

The New York Indian Film Festival was ending Saturday, and so Patrick and I bought tickets for the showing of Please Don't Beat Me Sir, a documentary chronicling the political theater movement of the Chhara community in Gujarat. The community is one of India's "de-notified tribes," groups originally given criminal designation under British colonial rule, and subsequently demarcated by Jawaharlal Nehru. Unfortunately, the communities were not rehabilitated, not provided an opportunity to assimilate to mainstream society, compelling them to continue thievery. Coupled with a vulnerability to police brutality and corruption, generations of Chharas were enslaved to a social destiny, and the movie chronicled the younger generation's efforts to free themselves of the sins of their fathers.

Most of the Chharas spoke in Gujarati, though a more colloquial dialect that I had a difficult time following. I understood all of the swearing and the crass language, however, and could relate to the concepts of the words much more than the subtitles could afford. While the rest of the audience would look on in sympathy, awe, I tried to suppress uncontrollable, inappropriate laughter, surprised that the 84 year old Chhara grandmother on the screen could have such a foul mouth.

As with all documentaries, I was a bit skeptical to the veracity and authenticity of the stories. It was a spectacle, bringing to light a community only through one lens. And so, while the director took questions and lectured on the notion of art as political advocacy, my mind kept wandering off to my visits to India, when my grandmother's maidservants would suddenly change their demeanor when they saw a camera in my sister's hands.

After the film and discussion, Patrick and I suddenly realized how hungry we were. We wanted to get a coffee and pastry from a cute, ovepriced cafe, and thought we'd walk till we found one. We walked for some time, and then decided to walk into Brooklyn.

The problem was, while we  did see Brooklyn, could almost touch it from across the water, we couldn't figure out how to get there. We walked for hours, and the more we searched, the more elusive Brooklyn became.

We trekked through Battery Park City, the most disabling and discomforting part of Manhattan. Battery Parkis an artifice inspired by cities all over the country, but only the mundane parts within these cities. It is not Dupont Circle or Philly's art district, but rather is eerily similar to Center Street in Philly, as well as the corporate districts of Washington DC. Patrick and I walked around the perimeter of the constructed city in silence, as a sense of anxiety (and overwhelming hunger) prevailed upon us.

so close to Brooklyn, and yet so far

Every so often, Patrick would grunt in anger, and I would squeeze my stomach to stop it from growing.

Not once did we think to use our smart phones.

Just as we were about to keel over from starvation, exhaustion, and general dissatisfaction with this great city, we thought we saw signs leading us to the bridge. I pulled Patrick over to the first ATM I saw. "I need cash if we're going to Brooklyn. I don't know if they take credit cards." Patrick looked amused, but then must have agreed, as he drew cash, too.



It wasn't a mirage. We finally found the beginning of the Brooklyn Bridge Walkway. We initially thought we were the subjects of practical, cruel jokes, because the sign looked as though it had been made by a seven year old, not the municipality to which we pay taxes.

finally, we find Brooklyn.

Patrick and I eagerly walked, almost ran, in the direction of the sign, its paint still drying, and walked the length of the bridge. We took obligatory pictures, to document our travels, and finally, after what seemed, or what actually was, hours of painful, arduous searching, we crossed the line that welcomed us into Brooklyn.

Patrick looked at me. "I have never wanted a burrito so badly in my life."

We walked down High Street and into DUMBO, and looked around desperately for food. I was about to comment on how pretty and tranquil the neighborhood was, but my stomach immediately shattered the silence, and I instead decided to finally use my smart phone to find places to eat.

We passed by a candy shop, and without so much as half a nod at each other, we walked in together, and separated as we ran around the store looking for our favorite candy. It was wholesale, and so I bought two gummy sharks & 2 yogurt pretzels, and Patrick's quantities of his favorites were similar. We just needed something to keep us standing till we found food.

best decision of my life

We stumbled upon a loud, raucous Mexican bar aptly named "Pedro's," and we succumbed to its wafting fragrances of refried beans and tomatillo and sat down with audible groans. Within thirty minutes, we were duped into thinking we purchased nachos (it was only tortilla chips), I accidentally spilled an entire bottle of hot sauce and a glass of water on my enchiladas (still ate it anyways), and the waitress told us she didn't eat burritos (reverse psychology marketing ploy, we hoped). It was the best meal we had had in years.

Finally satisfied, we left in search of more candy. The candy shop closed, and wouldn't open again till noon the next day. It was not even 8 pm. I held up both my fists and denounced God, while Patrick was close to tears. "I hate Brooklyn."

The subway ride back home was somber. We were barely holding ourselves up, and Patrick missed his stop just because he couldn't stand in time. We left the car together, and woefully climbed the stairs back up to Manhattan.

I touched Patrick's elbow softly to say bye, but instead shook my head and said, "Brooklyn. Never again."

He nodded. "Except I'm going back tomorrow."

End of Day 4.